Hot ‘n Funny Jokes & Videos

Two molecules are walking down the street; one bumps into the other and says:
“Oh, my fault, you okay??
The Second Molecule says: “No, I’m not ok, I’ve lost an electron!” So the first molecule says: “Are you sure” the second molecule answers, “I’m positive!”

Sausages
There were two sausages in a pan. One sausage said, “Man, its hot in here!”
The other sausage said,
“Ahhh…. a talking sausage!”

Q: Which travels faster,heat or cold and why?
A: Heat, because you can catch cold easily

What do you call a yard that crossed the road? A crossing yard.
What cools down as it heats up? An air conditioner.
What kind of phone does a turtle have? A shell-ular phone.

One day Bin Laden went to a fortuneteller and asked her when will I die. She replied: You will die on an American holiday. So he asks which American holiday and she says it doesn?t matter. When you die it will be an American holiday.

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“I am not at all satisfied with the evidence against you,”said
the magistrate to the prisoner on trial,
“so I shall find you not guilty. You are discharged.”
” Oh, good,” said the prisoner, ” does that mean
that I can keep the money?”

Q. Who were the first people on Earth ?
A. The Indians they had A Reservation.

All the merry men and Maid Marion, gathered around Robin Hood’s deathbed, waiting for the inevitable end. Manfully, heroically, Robin struggled up and said “Friar Tuck, bring me my long bow. I will fire an arrow out the window and wherever it lands, that is where you will bury me.” Deeply moved, they placed a long bow in his trembling fingers, propped him up and faced him towards Sherwood Forest. And with an immense effort, Robin aimed and fired. And so it came to pass that they buried him on top of the wardrobe.

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Q. What would happen if you have a wooden car, with wooden wheels, a wooden chair, and a wooden engine?
A. It wooden start!

There once was a blonde who had always heard about ice fishing, so one day she tried it. She went to an icy area, cut a hole, and started fishing. All of a sudden, she hears a voice. ?THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!” She ignores it and moves to another area, cutting a hole, and beginning to fish again. Again she hears the booming voice. “THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!!” She is starting to get freaked out now. “Lord? Is that you?” she asks. In reply she hears, “NO, THIS IS THE RINK MANAGER!”

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