Hot ‘n Funny Jokes & Videos

The man in the cafe asked the waiter,
“What is this mouse doing in my alphabet soup?”
The waiter looked for a minute and said,
“Learning to read sir.”

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments
with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to
“Honor thy Father and thy Mother,” she asked, “is there a
commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?”
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family)
answered,”Thou shall not kill.”

Son: Where are the Himalayas?
Father: If you’d put things away, you’d know where to find them.

One cold winter day a boy was standing out side a shoe store praying to God for some socks or some shoes. Just them a lady walks up to him and says, “Is there something that I can help you with?” He looks down at his feet,and says “well, I would like some shoes.”
She grabs his hand and takes him in to the shoe store. She asks for a dozen pair of socks and a pair of shoes. They sit down; get the socks and shoes on. As the woman is getting up to leave, the boy says thank you, and she tells him that if he ever needs anything else, to not to be afraid to ask. So he asks, “Are you Gods wife?”

At a wedding, there was a child that walked down the aisle. Every two steps he stopped, put his hands up in the air like claws, and gave a little roar. So it kept going. Step Step Roar, Step Step Roar. When he finally got to the altar the guests were in tears laughing. When asked why he was doing this he said, ?I was the ring bear!”

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A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though a whale is a very large mammal, its throat is very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. The teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human, it was impossible. The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah”.
The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?”
The little girl replied, “Then you ask him!”

A third grader that got into trouble from time to time was in the principal?s office for a quiet talking to. ?And Peter,? asked the principal, ?how do yu like your teacher? Do you get along all right??
?Oh, yes sir,? replied Peter. ? I think she?s the cream of the coop.?

Explaining the population explosion of the world a teacher was elaborating
“Suppose all world population are walking and jumping off the globe.
The line will still be endless”
A student appeared confused and the teacher clarified ” You see as and when a person jumps off another will be born and the line will continue for ever”
Still the young student wore the bewildered look “What is the doubt” the teacher asked. You said, “You said, they were all walking, teacher”

When the Smith family moved into their new house, a visiting grandparent asked five-year-old Tommy how he liked the new place.
?It?s great,? he said. ?I have my own room Alex has his own room, and Jamie has her own room. But poor mom is still in with dad.?

A father buys his son 2 Goldfish, and once the father has given the boy the fish, he tells him he must call the goldfish 1 and 2. Puzzled, the boy asks his father why this is, well the father replies, if 1 dies, you still got 2!!!

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