Hot ‘n Funny Jokes & Videos

A man walking down the street noticed a small boy trying to reach the doorbell of a house. Even when he jumped up, he couldn’t quite reach it.The man decided to help the boy, walked up on to the porch and pushed the doorbell. He looked down at the boy, smiled and asked, “What now?”
The boy answered, “Now we run like crazy!”

How do you catch a squirrel that likes hazel nuts?
Climb a tree, act like a nut but whisper, “Oh, Filbert.”

The mother of a small child was concerned about her daughter?s selfish behavior and gave her something of a lecture, stressing that we are put in this world to help others.
Her daughter seemed much impressed and sat silently, thinking and scratching her head.
At last she looked up and said, ?Mommy??
?Yes, dear?? replied her mother.
?What I want to know is, what are the others for??

Hearing a scream from the playroom, the mother rushed in and found her infant daughter pulling the hair of her four-year-old bother. After separating them, the mother said to her son, ?Don?t be upset with your sister, honey. She didn?t know she was hurting you.?
No sooner had the mother returned to he chores than she heard more screaming. This time she rushed in and found the baby crying. ?Now what happened?? she asked.
?Nothing,? said the boy, ?except that now she knows.?

Q: What did the zero say to the eight?
A: Nice belt.

As a distinguished matron approached the church entrance, a little boy stepped aside and held the door for her.

“What a polite little doorman,” she said as she walked through. “Is there a tip involved?”

“Oh, no,” answered the young man. “My mother taught me never to be good for money, but always to be good for nothing.”

A little girl was being selfish to her brothers. Her Dad sat her down and gave her a big lecture about being selfish. When he was done, the little girl said; “Daddy, I don’t even have a shell fish!

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Trying to be a good father, Jack took his son Tommy to the movies. He drove uptown to the Hoyts Theater, and there they watched an exceptionally long movie.
Afterwards, as they were heading to the car, the father asked his son, “Did you like the movie, Tommy?”
“Yeah, Dad, but I think I know why they call it Hoyts Theater.”
Puzzled by this comment, the father asked, “Why?”
And the little boy replied, “Because it Hoyts when you get up!”

Mrs. Sullivan and her little daughter Patty were outside the church watching all the comings and goings of a wedding. After the photographs had been taken, everyone had driven off to the reception, and all the excitement was over. Patty asked her mother, ?Why did the bride change her mind, Mommy?
?How do you mean, change her min?? asked Mrs. Sullivan.
?Well said the child, ?she went into the church with one man and came out with another!?

Eight-year-old Daniel heard his grandmother tell his mother that a football was needed for the family dinner Sunday night. Daniel couldn’t imagine why, but if he could help grandma prepare the meal, he would. But he didn’t have a football, so he went over to Greg’s house and traded 50 baseball cards for an old deflated football. He pumped it up, shined it and placed it on the kitchen table waiting for grandma to discover it.
”Daniel!” his mother exclaimed, ”You know Grandma is cooking tonight. Please put your things where they belong!”
Daniel was holding back the tears, ”But it’s for Grandma! She said she needed a football for dinner.”
Mother did her best to hold back the laughter, ”You know Grandma and her Irish accent. She meant a FRUIT BOWL!”